Talk to me

Hello Wilson,

I'm back in blogging. Somehow work brings me back to this site and allow me to recall the old times and how I used to express myself in this little space.
It's been years and many things has changed: people, live, technology, relationship, mentality, health and more.

I'm back because
I have nowhere to express myself anymore.
Like I said, things changed.
I can't stop myself from thing about the past, the Wilson in the past that was so happy, simple, innocent, easy going, talkative, friendly, lots of friends everywhere, caring, passionate, strong....
What happened to myself now?
Seem hard to get someone that I can talk to already.. my friends, they're all gone
Are they gone? Am being ditched? Or I'm the one left them? I'm seriously don't know which one first.
I just felt betrayed from the start, slowly losing faith to others and maybe that's the reason..
Who's the real friend? Real brother?

I remember I was putting friendship on most top of my list during high school, but now?
Oh well, ok family and friends were my top priority that time.
Those was the happy days when I have everything I treasure
Now, I guess it's part of life? Part of growing process? That everything will slowly fade away, losing one by one.
Family, career, relationships, financial, health.. are really a pain to me this year.
It's my toughest in my life to have to go through all this difficulty together that I started losing myself.
It's the first time ever I felt so stress to shout out and cried out loud. Alone. In car.
I'll never forget the day that breaks me down, tear me apart.
I've tried my best, forgive me if I've given up myself.

Yes, I've lost myself.
When asked about things happened in the past, I admit that my memory is fading too.
I remember I could remember those precious moment so much that every single words inked in my mind
But now, those have stored in my long term memory that I can not retrieve anymore.
I wish I could have my self back.
But somehow am I thinking too much about the golden past that keeps me away from current?
Please talk to me, Wilson.

20 minutes, done.